Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The Puppy
So Lauren and I got a puppy this past week. Its an australian shepherd mixed with some other type of similar dog. She's pretty cute, but has been causing me to teeter near the edge of santity for the past week. Last week I woke up at my usual time of 6 a.m. in order to prepare for a wonderous day at work. I am, needless to say, quite groggy at this hour as well as nearly completely blind until my contacts are inserted. The darkness at this early hour does not help the eyesight either. Well, I pulled my tired body from bed and made my way to the bathroom to shave or do my hair or something...I don't really remember what I do up until I actually become conscious at about 6:30 and most of it is already done. I stepped onto the cold bathroom tile and made my way to the front of the mirror...when what else should greet me on this fabulous day? None other than a nice, cold puddle of puppy pee, which now surrounded my bare feet. The slow brain activity from the early hour aided in lengthening my realizing what the wet substance I was standing in actually was. A rage of anger swept through me, though I had to keep it in...festering...so as to not wake my beautiful wife who lay slumbering. My optimism was apparent as I decided at that moment that the rest of would be crappy...and just for that I was not going to shave. Take that you blasted day. I went to work, the usual, and returned home at 5:30. Lauren had left just before me for a couple hours, so I let the puppy out of its crate and took it outside to do its thing. "Hmmmm, thought I, surely you must relieve yourself after being in that crate? I guess you did before Lauren left because you're not doing anything are you?" She didn't go so I let her back in and saw a delicious looking bone in her crate that she would probably enjoy. I reached in to fetch the item only to feel a warm mud-like substance enfulf two of my fingers. I retracted my hand to see a fantastic looking, strawberry size, poo now wrapped snuggly around those two fingers. Fan-freakin-tastic thought I. I'm sure glad that my sense of smell is so keen so I didn't just throw my hand in that puppy crate blindly....oh wait, I can't smell because of my sinuses. Awesome. Anyone want a puppy?
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8 comments:
And that is exactly why Todd won't let us have a puppy.... sorry Jacob ;)
Jason too. He won't get one just for the potty issues. :( Sorry Jake! But thanks for having one for us so Rhett can play with her! :)
hahahaha! Just wait. The best is when you wake up in the morning in your similar groginess and on the way to the bathroom, the arch of your barefoot finds a luke warm log and sticks to the bottom of your foot! To keep from mashing it into your foot even further, you fall to the ground... I understand the contact aspect too! Maybe that's why I didn't see the landmine...
ahhh...logan brutal. Excellent visuals though!!!
AAAhhhhh, sick. If you have a sliding door and a fenced in back yard just get a doggie door like the one we have. Works wonders! Or you could do what we did with our first puppy. Before we got the doggie door we had Scooter trained to ring a bell that was hanging from the door when he needed to go out. Let me know if you want the details.
AAAhhhhh, sick. If you have a sliding door and a fenced in back yard just get a doggie door like the one we have. Works wonders! Or you could do what we did with our first puppy. Before we got the doggie door we had Scooter trained to ring a bell that was hanging from the door when he needed to go out. Let me know if you want the details.
AAAhhhhh, sick. If you have a sliding door and a fenced in back yard just get a doggie door like the one we have. Works wonders! Or you could do what we did with our first puppy. Before we got the doggie door we had Scooter trained to ring a bell that was hanging from the door when he needed to go out. Let me know if you want the details.
She is a cutie thought! Just needs a little bit (or a lot) of training and she will do great.
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